This is a post in support of the Joint Council for International Children’s Services (JCICS). This post is partly a copy of an email sent to me by JCICS along with some commentary from me. :)
You may have heard that last week a 7 year old boy was “returned” to Russia after being in the US for 6-7 months with his adoptive mother. She claims that he had severe psychological problems, etc..
I have many thoughts and opinions on this issue….most of them angry at the situation!
The outrageous treatment of “Justin” by his adoptive family has rightfully resulted in outrage by the Governments of Russia and the United States and all who care about children. The tragedy has cast a light on intercountry adoption that says it is not safe, the system failed and adopted children cause insurmountable problems. The heartbreak of this boy’s abandonment has once again elevated a singular incident to a level which may result in the suspension of intercountry adoption. Suspending adoption, even temporarily, will only cause thousands of children to suffer the debilitating effects of life in an orphanage.
As an adoptive parent, I know what it is like to have international adoptions threatened to be stopped AND actually stopped. It is NOT good. Not good for the families waiting or for the children needing homes!
Obviously, the outrageous and indefensible actions of one parent are not indicative of how children are treated by adoptive families. Families who encounter difficulties do not simply abandon their child. Help is available, solutions can be found and families can thrive. Suspending adoption does not protect children but only subjects them to the depravity of an institution…and an entire life without a family.
In an article on MSNBC’s webpage there is a quote in an article saying “Parents enter into it (foreign adoption) with positive motivations but, in a sense, they are a little bit blindsided by their desire to adopt.” I whole-heartedly disagree with this statement. If you’ve ever been through the homestudy process you are beaten over the head with all of the bad things that could happen, the horror stories, the possibilities….you are asked what you would do in a hundred
hypothetical situations. I remember crying the very first time our social worker left our house almost 4 years ago now because I thought “what are we doing?? Our child will have so many problems. Should we go through with this?” I know Jason remembers that day too! That was before we even completed all the paperwork and background checks! I am really questioning where this lady that adopted this boy got her homestudy done. Maybe it was not a reputable place. I guess time will tell. I think often times adoptive parents are very ready parent a child and are more open to less than ideal situations because they’ve often waited many years and have seen their family and friends have children and discover that not every child is born “perfectly” or without concerns. And yes, I’m speaking from experience.
It truly is a shame that ONE negative situation can get so much publicity and possibly halt adoptions to another country. Too bad good situations (probably the majority of adoptions) can’t get some great publicity!
JCICS requested that today people blog about their positive adoption experience. I know that most everyone who reads my blog already knows our adoption story - maybe more than they really want to. :) You also know that we are so happy to have our daughter, who just happens to be adopted. So, I just blogged about this current, controversial situation. I still don't see how someone would not think of adoption as permanent....and to think you could "return" a child???
Here is a more positive adoption article if you are interested.
